Even with employers outnumbering the employed, searching for a job necessarily comes with rejection. There’s no way around it: getting passed over and even ghosted by potential future employers is simply part of the job search process.
Even so, getting rejected by potential employers can hurt. Because we are human and can be prone to take even the most impersonal of gestures personally, failing to hear back from a company after you thought you had a good interview can be damaging to your self-esteem. Most importantly, it can stymie your momentum, making you more prone to binge-watch Netflix and feel sorry for yourself instead of scheduling that next interview.
With this in mind, we’d like to suggest six tips for dealing with job search rejection and help turn your search into an adventure instead of a slog.
Tips for dealing with job search rejection include the following:
Don’t take it personally
Ask yourself what you can improve or do differently
Keep moving forward
Reframe your job search and turn the tables
Fall back on your network
Be kind to yourself
Before we move onto the list, are you sure you’ve been rejected? If you attended an interview and haven’t heard from an employer, follow up and check with them. Yes, if you haven’t heard back within a few weeks, you’re probably being ghosted, but if they have not definitively told you that you didn’t get the job, try to make sure. When you’re sure, it’s time to move on to these steps.
Don’t take it personally
Rejection may feel personal, but you might be one applicant out of hundreds. Employers have specific sets of requirements they look for in job candidates, and they will hire the person who fills the most of them. If the person who fits the bill turns out to be someone other than you, remind yourself that it’s about the job, the company, and the other applicant, and not all about you. We’re all the protagonists in our own story.
Maybe the hired person had an internal referral, or they hired an internal candidate. Perhaps the other person was a better cultural fit or had different skills that were appealing. There are many talented people out there, and just because someone else is great doesn’t mean you’re not. Don’t let it get you down or affect your self-esteem. You’re still amazing. You just weren’t a fit for that job.
Ask yourself what you can improve or do differently
The above being said we can always do better. Everyone can learn something from every experience. Ask yourself if there’s something you can improve or do differently in the future. Could you work on your interview stories and better highlight your accomplishments? Are there skills gaps in your resume? Were you missing some qualifications that you could add through upskilling? If you can find the person who was hired online, you might be able to see what qualifications they possess that you don’t, and you may then be able to acquire those qualifications. Maybe they brought something to the table that wasn’t even part of the job requirements, like social media skills or leadership experience.
You might also get feedback from the employer on why you didn’t get the job. Usually, they’ll say something like, “the other person was just a better fit.” Still, sometimes you’ll get some helpful information like the other person had experience with a particular software that you don’t. It can’t hurt to ask.
What can you learn from the experience? Every learning opportunity is valuable.
Keep moving forward
Set goals and keep going, even when the going gets tough. Set a goal of applying to a certain number of jobs each week, but don’t make this number too high and throw resumes out into the wind. You absolutely must research your target jobs and tailor your applications, including resume and cover letter, to each potential opening. But keep them coming and don’t become overly attached to any particular role. This will help you overcome each “no” on your journey and keep you on the road to” yes.”
They say you should “treat your job search like a job.” So, behave as if you were employed at a company until you achieve your goal.
Would your company look kindly upon you wallowing after a single rejection? Would your company think you were effective if you only sent a single application every three weeks? Would they take kindly to power naps and frequent breaks? How would they feel about you scrolling through social media during your workday?
None of those things would be acceptable at a job, so don’t accept it from it yourself. Be your own best employee, and do the best possible job you can. Go above and beyond. That always impresses employers.
Reframe your job search and turn the tables
Most of us go to job interviews worrying about whether or not we measure up to the employer’s standards. Don’t forget to ask yourself if the company measures up to yours. Remind yourself that you bring a lot to the table, and a company would be lucky to have you.
Instead of fretting only about whether or not an employer will be interested in what you have to offer, ask yourself what they have to provide you with. Research the company. What is their benefits program? Do they have an interesting, healthy workplace? Is there a bonus pay structure? Do you think you will enjoy the corporate culture and connect with its mission and values? What is their stand on diversity and equity? Is it a company you’d be proud to work for?
Instead of selling yourself blindly to whoever will take you, be discerning about the type of employer you are willing to work for.
This shift reframes your view of yourself as a groveling candidate and turns you instead into a discerning shopper. This will lessen the sting of job search rejection and make you a much more attractive candidate. Doing your research on a company and knowing your value will impress the best type of employers.
Set your life as a system
Efficiency experts recommend systems over goals. That means that, while your overall goal is landing a job, your focus should be on addressing all aspects of your life as parts of a synergistic system that will make finding a job more likely instead of less likely.
When you focus solely on finding a job as a single goal, you are likely to neglect all the other moving pieces in your life that make that goal more likely. Your question shouldn’t be “will I ever get a job?” It should be “what kind of life do I want to live?”
Envision your life as a whole. Setting it up as a system means that you think of your life as a whole that includes interdependent parts, like interests, passions, hobbies, friends, family, and work. Seeing your life as a complete system in which a job is just one part will help you become more effective at your job search and take each job rejection in stride – because you have many other things going on, and it doesn’t feel as big. It will also help you find a job that fits with the life you want to live.
Fall back on your network
Being vocal and open with your social network about your job search helps you feel less isolated and alone when rejection happens. It gives you a space to decompress, assess, debrief and commiserate with other people and individuals who might be sharing your job search journey.
Your network can also share job opportunities you might not otherwise hear about. If someone learns about a job you might be suited to, you want them to let you know. And, if something comes up at their own company for which they can refer you, even better. Don’t underestimate the power of synchronicity and your social network to get you past the resume gate-keeper. Keeping your social network involved in your search ensures you’ll get emotional support and might even get a job in the bargain.
Be kind to yourself
Don’t let your job search run you down. Stories abound of workers getting burned out on the job, but you can also spiral into a physical or mental health rut as you wait to find your next one. Be nice to yourself and take care of yourself.
The time between jobs can be great for focusing on parts of our lives we may have neglected before. Getting up at a reasonable hour every morning, working some exercise into your day, and eating well will help you keep your energy levels and morale up. Going for walks, meditating, and keeping a journal are all excellent activities to add to your self-care.
Take time to do things other than looking for a job -- creative, relaxing, and entertaining activities that bring you joy. Work is only part of life, and you need to maintain your life-work balance even when you aren’t ‘officially’ working.
Make mental health a priority. If you are dealing with overwhelming feelings of anxiety, helplessness, or low self-esteem because the job rejections keep coming, don’t rule out seeking counseling, a local support group, or even a good self-help book to keep your mindset where you need it to be.
Now get out there and don’t let the rejections get you down. You got this.
